Justin & Eric… And you.

Nick Hardwick announced this week he was retiring after 11 seasons as center for the San Diego Chargers. Over the years he has grinded through some tough situations. Let’s see if he’s prepared to answer “Five Dumb Questions From Eric Stangel.”

I ask the questions the media is afraid to ask. No subject is off-limits.

Here goes:

(USA Today Sports Images)

1- Eric: Nick, you’re an intimidating dude, but I heard you say you used to throw up before games. Did you brush your teeth before the game, or use your breath as a weapon?

Nick Hardwick: There was no time to brush teeth before a game. Those are tough times. In particular, I remember vowing to never eat eggs or spaghetti with meat sauce again before a game. Apparently I didn’t chew those foods as well as I should have and getting those in the nasal passage was uncomfortable to say the least. It induced more vomiting.

2- Eric: After getting injured this season, you lost 85 pounds. What high-calorie food do you miss the most?

Nick Hardwick: I used to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s nightly before bed to keep my weight up. Wow! Those were special times that I miss.

 (K.C. Alfred)

3- Eric: You were a Chargers team captain. What kind of crap goes on during the coin toss? Anyone ever try to intimidate?

Nick Hardwick: Captains are in general more respectful and exchange pleasantries. However, young, disrespectful captains would oftentimes refuse to shake our hands and run off the field after they found out they were kicking off or receiving. I never understood that.

(Stu Forster/Getty Images)

4- Eric: Your former Charger teammate Kris Dielman told a lovely story about how you drank a bottle of your own urine for $1300. A guy who is willing to drink his own urine must have done something equally disgusting. Can you give us another one?

Nick Hardwick: Drinking my own urine was as far physically as I have gone. Now there’s plenty of other stories that I’m going to go ahead and plead the fifth to before I incriminate myself.

(USA Today Sports Images)

5- (two part question) Eric: Do you miss Philip Rivers’ hands on your ass? Do you think you’ll occasionally invite him over to have him put his hands on your ass?

Nick Hardwick: No comment.

Eric: (That’s not a no.) Good luck with the next chapter. Thanks for your hard work with the Chargers!