Here are some quips, jokes and one-liners to impress your friends and family while sitting at the Thanksgiving table. (For those of you who will be alone, don’t bother reading this)
Start off by telling grandma to “Go pluck yourself”
(You’ll have the audience on your side at that point.)
Then try any or all of these jokes…
Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church? (Or synagogue)
A: Because they can’t stop using fowl language because a turkey is a foul.
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock music, which isn’t a real thing, but it’s where the Mayflower disembarked.
Q: Why is Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
A: Thanksgiving soup is so expensive because it has 24 carrots in it which sounds like 24 karats which is a kind of expensive jewelry
Q: What happened when a turkey got in a fight?
A: He had the stuffing knocked out of him, but in reality turkeys don’t fight. I’m guessing they might peck each other or something, but that’s about it.
Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s popcorn? (This joke is also fun to shout in a movie theater)
You know what? I give up, this posting is making me sad. You people are on your own
These fantastic jokes have been adapted from jokes at http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/thanksgivingjokes.html